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What is the Outcome You Really Want?

Are YOU willing to the pay the price to get it?

outcome

Andrew, Qualk & Dutch, (WCCP The ROAR, 105.5 FM) discuss the process of how and why major decisions are made, like why 49ers linebacker Chris Borland would walk away from millions of dollars and a promising career after only one season.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Going into any situation, ALWAYS ask yourself, “What is the outcome I really want?”  After you give yourself an answer, follow up with, “Am I willing to make the sacrifices to get it?”

I don’t know Chris Borland, but I admire his clarity and mental toughness to walk through the honest assessment process and then make a clear cut decision.  ALL of us have the same option to make a choice, to go for the outcome we really want, once we have made the decision to pay the price to get it.

This honest assessment strategy is a handy tool to use in any context, whether it be dealing with relationships, career moves, fitness and nutrition, or buying a house or car.  Before entering the decision making arena, always know before hand what outcome you REALLY want.  Then calculate the price in physical, mental, emotional, social, and financial terms. Are you willing to pay that cost to get the outcome? If yes, then go for it. If not, then be prepared to settle for less.

 

Do You HATE Cheaters? Or Love ‘Em?

Don’t you just HATE Cheating and Cheaters?

cheaters

Before you answer that out loud, listen to Qualk, Dutch, and Andrew on Out of Bounds (WCCP 105.5 FM).

LISTEN HERE

Also, let’s ask ourselves these questions:

Have I ever driven my car faster than the posted speed limit? (Even if it wasn’t knowingly or intentional)

Do I ALWAYS come to a complete stop at every STOP sign?

Have I ever “fudged” my height or weight at the DMV? (A legal government issued document)

Am I 100% compliant with the tax code? (Do I know the entire tax code? and if not, can I say I am 100% compliant for sure?)

For all the folks calling for people to be suspended, banned, or disqualified and are talking about game “integrity”, how about we reflect a minute or two before saddling up on that Clydesdale.

I was in Amman, Jordan the day Bin Laden was killed and I heard the exact (and I mean EXACT) same things being said on Al Jazeera about the United States:

Americans cheated, they used torture, they stole documents, they listened in on phone calls, they violated treaties, those cheating Navy SEALS invaded Pakistani sovereign territory, they broke into a house and killed an unarmed man. YOU CHEATERS!

For the record, I LOVE cheaters! And if on any level, you enjoy your life, your liberties and your ability to pursue whatever happiness means to you, then you love them too. So just maybe we can put that high horse back in the barn…

Thinking Like CRAP

Clarity – Relevance – Accuracy – Precision

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Thinking like CRAP – the 4-step filtering process to run every thought through when making any and all decisions.

Clarity – To get crystal clear on the exact issue at hand, start by removing anything NOT relevant

Relevance – The Golf example: Is the bunker or water obstacle relevant to where you are hitting the ball? No, the Pin is the only thing relevant, so clear the board of the bunkers, the water obstacles, the rough areas, etc. FOCUS only on what is relevant.

Accuracy – Be accurate in what the obstacles are – i.e. the distance to the Pin (185 yards is different than 200 yards), the wind, which way the ball will roll upon landing on the green.

Precision – Be precise and specific in the language of your thoughts.  “I always slice the ball”  – the word “always” is neither accurate nor precise. Instead, “I have tendency to slice the ball when my focus on the fundamentals of my swing is directed to the bunkers.”

With daily practice, thinking like CRAP becomes natural and fluid and orders your thoughts, emotions, and attitude to help you grab the best 126 bits/second of information for action.

Boo Yah!

Mental Command and Control

Mental Chain of Command

Catch the latest weekly Mental Toughness segment on WCCP’s 105.5 FM The Roar’s “Out of Bounds” with Qualk and Dutch.

Mental Command and Control

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Qualk, Dutch and I, discuss command and control of our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes and how giving our thoughts a clear chain of command and hierarchy gives us the ability to compartmentalize in the heat of battle and perform at your peak.

Most folks’ default hierarchy of thought is as follows:

1. FEAR

2. PAIN

3. Confidence

4. Courage

5. Patience (the quality that refuses to give up)

Flip the order and watch your success rate sky-rocket. Make “Patience” your 5-Star General and demote “fear” to the lowliest private.

1. Patience (the quality that refuses to give up) – Listen to this first

2. Courage

3. Confidence

4. Pain

5. Fear (and Fear of Pain) – Listen to this last

Write down the “Chain of Command” for your thoughts, identify and categorize them, and then relegate them to the proper place in your hierarchy.

Let me know what your Mental Chain of Command is and your most successful technique or strategy for applying it in real life and real time.

Boo Yah!

How to STOP the High-Pressure CHOKE

STOP Performance CHOKING

 

Choking

Have you ever been in a high-pressure situation where you had to have PEAK PERFORMANCE in order to succeed, only to perform well below your capabilities? (Like, really really badly?)

Catch Andrew talking about this very issue with Qualk & Dutch on WCCP 105.5 The ROAR on location at Best Chevrolet in Easley, SC and learn the biopsychology secrets to NEVER CHOKING AGAIN.

Out Of Bounds – Nov 19, 2014

Let me know: Are you more a “LOVE TO WIN” person or a “HATE TO LOSE” person?

Boo Yah!

Mirror, Mirror…

Don’t Mistake Bringing Clarity For Being Confrontational

Confrontational

As a Critical Thinking and Mental Toughness Consultant, I have been accused of being confrontational, nothing could be farther from being accurate. Often, bringing clarity, by offering a path to objective reality, is mistaken for being confrontational. In my role as a consultant, I offer a question or a series of questions for the client(s) to ask themselves. I don’t ask the questions to them, I offer them questions to ask themselves. And there is no right or wrong answer, no accusations, and no moral judgments attached.

In Mental Toughness we strictly judge results, e.g. Ask yourself:

Is my attitude helping me or hurting me?
Is not going to the doctor for a checkup helping me or hurting me?
Am I deluding myself in any area of my life? (Health, Career, Relationships, Finances, etc.)

Many times over, I have had clients react to the clarity they hired me to bring, by lashing out, “You should be nurturing and not so confrontational. We didn’t have these problems until you came here.”

As my wife’s sweet Southern Belle Grandmother would say, “Bless their darlin’ hearts.” That’s akin to going to the doctor for a physical and being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and blaming the physician, “I didn’t have Diabetes before I came to you!”

I can remember sitting in a series of meetings with a guy who said at least 6 times that he had twenty CEO’s lined up to present a project he was working on. Finally, after two months of these claims, someone asked him who they were, could he name them, or at least the companies. “Twenty” CEOs became “two” CEOs, and he immediately began complaining that folks were being confrontational.

Like the Queen in the fairy tale “Snow White”, no one likes to take an honest look in the mirror and have it point out anything unflattering, myself included. However, the momentary sting of objective reality has become something I crave, for without it, no problem can be solved –
Not in my health (not eating right or excising and then avoiding the doctor’s diagnosis doesn’t mean I’m healthy),

Not in my business (just because a customer says their word is their bond doesn’t mean I don’t get it in writing),

Not in my marriage (not putting my spouse first, like I affirmed in my marriage vows, can be spun anyway I want… but why should I think that approach would work? Divorce stats answer that question. And oh, by the way, not getting married and avoiding the vows, is like avoiding the doctor, the “divorce” still hurts, and Type II Diabetes can still kill you),

Not in my relationship with my kids (buying them stuff but not keeping my word and being there for them isn’t creating trust),

Not in my finances (still having available credit on my Visa to spend is not being prosperous).

Asking for clear, relevant, accurate and precise information isn’t being confrontational, it is critical thinking, it is objective reality, it is the basis and foundation of wise decisions that bring worthy and valuable results.

The mirror ain’t wrong, so don’t blame anyone else for what you see staring back at you. Oh, an avoiding the mirror, like the doctor, isn’t going to make you not have what you don’t want to see.

Boo Yah!

It’s All Relative, Sweetheart!

“There’s always a bigger fish.” – Qui-Gon Jinn

relative

The first time I remember becoming aware that what I thought was “big”, was relative, I was in Honduras. It was early 1990 and I was deployed on a counter-terrorist op. As we were moving from the airfield to our bivouac area, I noticed a big hilltop estate, completely walled and gated. It was adorned with a huge satellite dish (an old school dish, the kind that pre-dated Direct TV and Dish). I asked our translator who the lavish villa owner was, surely a plantation owner or corporate big wig.

“Huh, that house up there? That’s the house of a retired U.S. Navy Chief.”

“What?” The mansion and estate was owned by a retired E-7, the same pay-grade as a Marine Corps Gunny? Full retirement pay for a Gunny, at that time, was about $2000 a month. What is NOT that big in the U.S. ($24,000 annual income), was HUGE in Honduras. That Chief figured it out, and he’s not the first; I ran into several hundred of those guys in the Philippines.

On the other side of the coin, during the time I was personally protecting one of the richest families in the world, I was assigned to the wife during a shopping trip to Manhattan. Prada, Bottega, Louis Vuitton, were just a few stops on the tour of seemingly endless luxury boutiques. Places where the retail clerk wears white cotton gloves to handle the merchandise from the display case, or off the shelf.

After hours of careful study, my protectee had decided on a handbag, it was ostrich skin. Oh, the price? $30,000.00 (yeah, you read that right, 30 GRAND). The wife looked at me during checkout and said, “You know Andrew, that’s somebody’s mortgage payment.” (And in the circle she travels in, it most likely was – in my circle, more like the price of a car.) For her, it wasn’t even like two hundred dollars. It’s all relative – the business empire, built by her husband, produces over a thousand dollars each and every second, of each and every day, and doesn’t take any days off.   (How he built that from literally nothing is a case study in itself.)

Does that shock you? Bother you? Did you find yourself saying, “I would never spend that much on a handbag!”?

Did the Navy Chief’s story shock you? Bother you? (The local Hondurans were thinking about the chief’s house, the same way you were just thinking about the handbag.)

Most of the entire planet lives on less than two dollars a day, they would most likely be shocked and bothered by your purchases and life style as well. As Haymitch, from the Hunger Games would say, “It’s all relative, sweetheart.”

I choose to aspire to being able to buy my wife such a purse, instead of decrying the extravagance of it. Just as my two cars and my 3000 sq. ft. house, with two flat screen TVs and indoor plumbing is extravagance to most of the population of Earth.

The next time someone (or you) use language like, “This is a really difficult problem,” or that something is “Expensive,” – try asking (out loud) “Compared to what?”

Boo yah!

Facts Ain’t Always The Truth

Facts and Truth are two completely different entities.

truth

Facts and Truth are two completely different entities. Facts are something that have actual existence. A fact is merely information, neutral, independent and objective. As a cop, investigating a crime, I was always in search of the facts. If, and when, a case went to court, witnesses would swear an oath to tell the truth. We know, for a fact, that eye witnesses are unreliable at best. Why? Because, people deal in truths, not in facts. The truth is our internal perception of the facts and circumstances that make up the experiences of life.

For example, the fact is, it is 68 degrees outside. The truth is, that after 3 years of living in Hawaii, 68 degrees was downright cold. However, it is also truth, after spending a winter in Serbia and Kosovo, 40 degrees felt balmy, and 68 degrees is heat stroke territory.

Facts cannot change, they are unalterable. Truth, on the other hand, is pliable. Knowing this, we can take the facts of any circumstance and perceive them from any angle we want, creating for ourselves, a truth or truths. (Heads up, you are already doing this and have been your entire life, usually to your detriment.) Truths are what beliefs are founded on, we take action on our truths. Almost everyone knows the medical facts that fast food isn’t good for you, but for most of us, the truth is that “it’s okay.” (Based on the fact that the fast food industry does billions of dollars in sales each and every year, and the fact that 1 out of 10 deaths are related to obesity. It’s killing us, but we’re bellied up to the fry-daddy feeding trough.)

I’m reminded of the story of the 300 Spartan Warriors of the battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. The Persians were attacking Greece during a Spartan holiday and it was against Spartan law to go to war during the holiday. To work around the law, the Spartan king, Leonidas, selected 300 members to serve as his bodyguard and accompany him on a “stroll” to the battlefield.

Legend has it that he selected only warriors that had living sons to carry on their family’s bloodline, because the mission was a one-way ticket. The King, in his wisdom, went further and selected the warriors based on their wives’ and mothers’ ability to show courage and leadership under the grief of losing husbands and sons. Leonidas believed that if the wives and mothers were bitter and depressed, it would spread like a disease, cascading into the defeat of all free Greeks.

In essence, the warriors were chosen based on their wives’ and mothers’ abilities to take the facts of war, gore and the death of their dearest loved ones, and apply the higher truths of freedom, liberty and patriotism for the good of the nation.
We must collect as many unbiased, objective, and evidence-based facts as possible, in order to make logical, well-reasoned and clear decisions. We must also perceive the facts in way that elevates us and puts us on the path to success and fulfillment, in even the face of the deepest sorrows.

What truths are you using as “facts” in your decision making? (This is not good)
What truths are you manufacturing that puts you on the path of fear, depression or defeat? (Also, not good)
Can you create new truths by changing your attitude, perception and level of awareness that will put on a path to confidence, fulfillment and happiness? (Yes, you can and this is good)

Remember, Danger is a Fact – Fear is a manufactured Truth… but so is Love.

Boo Yah!