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The Sound of No Hands Clapping

“The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another’s keeping.”

Dale Carnegie

 No Hands Clapping

 

I am constantly reminding myself to not base how I feel about my performance on what other people think. If you do all that you can to prepare, and you execute with your very best effort, who cares if people applaud you or not. Do I like it better when they do? YUP!! I really do like it when people like me. However, and my wife and kids can testify, I honestly don’t care if someone likes me, approves of me, or applauds me or NOT.

One day, several years ago, when my oldest son was in middle school, it was my turn to pick up in car line. He got into the truck, we exchanged hugs, and asked how each other’s day was going. I mentioned, laughingly, a response to an op-ed piece I had written for the newspaper, it was ripping me, but was poorly written (SHOCKER!).

My son laughed with me, and said, “Dad, half the world hates you!”

Well, it’s probably a lot higher percentage than that, but those folks aren’t contributing to my family’s well-being anyway, so who cares. 300 Spartans took on the world’s superpower, Persia, and stopped them dead in their tracks. I’m pretty sure, Leonidas wasn’t heartbroken over the fact that Xerxes didn’t like him. In fact, Leonidas didn’t much dig Xerxes either.

Every major decision I’ve made in my life, had a truck load of folks who didn’t applaud the decision I made. And guess what, had I made the opposite decision, I would have had a truck load of folks who didn’t applaud the decision. Live your life, make your choices based on the criteria that making these decisions will bring you closer to realizing your vision and overall goals. (Of course, if you don’t have a vision, making decisions is like taking a vacation with no destination, or start date, but that’s for another day.)

Today, instead of taking into consideration the validation of others (family, friends, coworkers, the boss, etc.), think about becoming the one validates them. Can you imagine being a lowly foot soldier in World War II and having General Douglas MacArthur slap your shoulder and say, “You’re doing a great job, keep on keeping on”? Do you think MacArthur was seeking validation?

 

Boo Yah!

There is No One Coming to Your Rescue

My business partner and mentor, Steve Siebold, explains that no one is coming to rescue us from our lives, in this short interview on CBS Atlanta.

CLICK HERE to watch the interview.

cbs atlanta

I have found this to be a huge issue in coaching clients.  We all have a blind spot, in which we think in the back of our mind, “Some day, my ship will come in,” or “One day, I’ll be discovered and get my lucky break,” or simply playing the lottery.  It’s truly not going to happen, no one is coming to your rescue to make your life better.  If you want a better life, you have to do it.

CLICK HERE to download your FREE copy of Steve’s new Mental Toughness Training Manual.  (It’s geared for weight loss, but the Mental Toughness principles presented are applicable in every area of life.)

Boo yah!!

New Year’s Resolution Failure? It’s Not Too Late

My business partner and mentor, Steve Siebold, lays out 5 simple steps to keeping your New Year’s Resolution, be it weight loss, earning more money, quitting smoking or going back to school, in his article on Yahoo Finance.

yahoo finance

CLICK HERE to read Steve’s 5 Simple Steps in detail.

Here’s a 30 second version:

1) Decide to do it…..PERIOD!

2) Get in the HABIT

3) Get a COACH (This one is HUGE!)

4) Keep it REAL

5) Drill down to the DETAILS.

 

You can do it, and it is never too late.  Remember, it’s only OVER when YOU say it’s OVER.

Boo Yah!

Greatest Coaching Job of All Time

“Coaching is a profession of love. You can’t coach people unless you love them.”

Eddie Robinson

 parenting

Parenting is the greatest and most vital of all the head coaching jobs in all the world.  Of course, every parent loves their kids, more than words can express.  That’s first requisite of a coach, loving the folks you coach, so it’s a good start.  If you’re a Mom or a Dad, your made the cut…you’re a COACH! (Like it or not.)

Let’s take a minute to look at a few thoughts on coaching from a parenting point of view.  (If you aren’t a parent, think of it from the perspective of interacting with all the people inside your circle of influence. And if you happen to be a coach, put on your coaching hat too.)

“A good coach will make his or her players see what they can be rather than what they are.”

Ara Parasheghian

Let’s help our kids see what they can be rather than telling them where they are falling short or not meeting our expectations.  We have all experienced how exhausting it feels trying to measure up, while simultaneously being told you’re not.

“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.”

John Wooden

The greatest challenge of Mom’s and Dad’s (and coaches everywhere), is to help our charges make course corrections without planting the seeds of bitterness, embarrassment or belittlement.  What’s even worse is to give no corrective suggestions at all.  Showing disappointment or disgust, or simply turning your back on a performance that we deemed not up to par, causes extreme long term damage to those under our tutelage. Immediate adjustments are the best, but privately, if possible.

“A team takes on the personality of the head coach.”

Ricky Williams

If you don’t like the way the little darlings are acting, look in the mirror.  In most cases, they got it honestly.  There’s no overnight fix, but if you personally work on developing better habits in the areas you don’t like to see in the kids, they’ll take the cue, and work on it as well. (Just “telling them” to fix it aint’ gonna get it done.)

I’m talking to myself here, which is what this blog is about:  me coaching me.  (But I’m sure glad you came along on the ride with me.)

Boo Yah!

Don’t Mistake Meekness for Weakness

The Greek historian, Plutarch, was the first to put pen to paper, in the recording of the ancient Spartan warrior society.  He used the word “praotes” in his writings, from which we get the word “meekness”.

 Meek Inherit the Earth

The modern usage of “meekness” is very different from Plutarch’s original meaning.  Plutarch’s usage signifies the ability to control yourself, especially emotional and passionate reactions, and that this ability is a result of training.

Meekness is the ability to easily manage strength and force.  Weakness is the lack of strength and force.  Don’t confuse the two.   Meekness comes from being coachable and getting the right coaching/training.  It’s extremely difficult to train/coach yourself to manage your passions and natural emotional reactions, especially if you are just starting out.  Once you get a foundation, buckle up, it’s a life-long practice, one that needs constant attention, but the benefits are enormous.

Unrestrained and unmanaged forceful responses to what happens to you in life can be disastrous over the long term.  Unchecked emotional behavior will lead to you being in a position of weakness, passed over for promotions or even unemployed, fewer friends and family members willing to stand by and apologize for outbursts or even put up with them.  That seems extreme, yet this lack of control over oneself can be seen on any game day, board meeting, or competition in any field at any level.

We all have heard of celebrities or sports stars who have a pattern of throwing tantrums, and their subsequent inability to get another part or roster position on another team.  You may personally know folks who have that same pattern and have witnessed the consequences.  It’s something I struggle with daily, to be more controlled and measured in my responses to people and situations.

Once I stopped confusing meekness for weakness, it allowed me to become teachable and make the necessary course corrections given by my mentors and coaches.  Suddenly, I began to understand how it is that the meek could inherit the planet.

Boo Yah!

Do You Know?

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

Benjamin Franklin

 Knowledge

Knowledge means information of the workings of things, especially gained through observation, identification, description, investigation, experience, and explanation. In short, we have to do some work to gain knowledge of our particular field or profession.  By way of a personal example, I was lacking knowledge on marketing and sales.  So I had to do something to gain the know how of the workings of marketing and sales.  I didn’t know what to do, how to do it, or when to do it.  I bought books, read articles and blogs, and I hired a marketing/sales coach. I had to DO (take action on my own) to gain this specific knowledge (NOTE: I hired a coach, not a firm to DO IT for me).  Nobody was beating down my door hand delivering it to me.

In what has become normal past practice for us, let’s check out the flip side of knowledge.  Its opposite includes: ignorance, unawareness, incomprehension, incapacity which results in weakness, helplessness, and being powerless.  Yup! That described me perfectly when it came to marketing and sales.  If, during your honest assessment, you find yourself in this state of being, get to work and start looking for the specific knowledge you need to solve your problem.  (Start with Google, you’ll get more info than you can handle.)  So put the bowl of ice cream down, get off the couch, turn off the game console, and go get some knowledge.  Books, articles, and webinars, are a good start but you will need to find someone in the real world to help you with the experience part of the deal.  Don’t skip over that, it is way more effective to learn with a coach or mentor.

Remember, diligence first, then conviction, followed by courage….but before you run onto the battle field make sure you get KNOWLEDGE!!

I’d love to hear from you with examples/stories from you own journey to the PEAK!

Holler!

Boo Yah!!

Don Yaeger on scoring on Michael Jordan

My business partner and member of my mentor team, Don Yaeger, ALWAYS tells about the time he beat Michael Jordan, in one-on-one.

Don Yeager Andrew Wittman

 

Hearing Don tell it LIVE is so much better, but it’s still a fun story.  Enjoy!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE STORY

Boo Yah!!

 

What, How, and When

I’ve found that over the years, even when I knew where I wanted to go in life, the vision I wanted to achieve, I would be stuck, frustrated, and eventually just stop believing that I could get there.  Approximately a year and half ago, I discovered that applying the things I did in the areas in which I was successful, to the area(s) that I wasn’t, magic began to happen.

What How When

For example, I was successful in health and fitness, family relationships, work ethic, and making rock solid judgments, in an instant, during dignitary protection gigs.  Enjoying the freedom of financial independence and not having to ever worry about money issues again….not so much.

Why was I successful in health and fitness (i.e. seeing my abs for the first time in my life at 45 years of age)?  I read everything I could get my hands on, by the people who were already successful in seeing their abs.  I studied their books, blog posts, and websites like a scientist.  I meticulously read the science and medical studies they cited.  I learned “what to do, how to do it, and when to do it” and then applied what I learned.  I discarded anyone’s advice that hadn’t already achieved what I wanted to achieve.  No offense, but if you weren’t a fitness model or physique artist, I gave your stuff a pass.

What if I applied the principle of What to do, How to do it, and When to do it, to achieving my other goals and dreams? Right…..MAGIC!! My vision to be financially free, while doing the thing I love most, teaching Mental Toughness, had already been done.  It has only been done by one guy at the highest level of financial success, Steve Siebold.  I studied his writings, blog posts, and training materials like a scientist, and I still do.  But I took it a step further and became his apprentice, and the ride is MAGIC! Am I there yet? No, but now I am enjoying the ride, because just like seeing my abs, I will achieve financial freedom, doing what I love.

Here’s the take away: Dream your dream, and then go find someone that already knows what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and then Forrest Gump whatever they tell you to do.

Boo Yah!!