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Communication – Maximize the Message

The Art of Communication… and the Science behind the Art

Andrew discuss the art and science behind effective communication and how you can maximize your message, on his weekly radio show, Get Warrior Tough, heard weekly on WCCP FM 105.5 The Roar.  Radio Studio Shot

7% of our message in the WORDS and LANGUAGE we use

38% of our message is the TONE of our VOICE

55% of our message is communicated VISUALLY – facial expressions, body language & posture, the clothes and colors you wear, and your appearance, charisma and presence.

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The words we speak are the least important part of our message, yet most of us focus on that part first and the most.  Take complete control of yourself first, (CEO of You, Inc. – control of your body, mind and emotions) then drill down.

Boo Yah!

Desensitize Yourself:

Trepidation To Trite 

Desensitize yourself

Back in the late 1990’s, I drove through the gates of the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center, in Glynco, GA. I was met by the security force (FLETsee 5-0, as we called them), and the horrid and putrid sulfuric smell of the nearby paper mill. WOW! The odor was like fermented rotten eggs on steroids with Brussel Sprouts on top (insert gagging here)! I’m not sure how long it took, but by the time I was bedding down that first night, I didn’t notice the smell any longer. Wind shift perhaps? No, desensitization. My brain had shut down sending the out the “foul odor signals” and allowed me to function normally, without the gagging and choking back down the rising bile and vomit it caused.

The same thing happens when eating that yummy special meal of your “favorite” food. Once you eat it so much that it no longer becomes special, it doesn’t taste that great. In fact, if that’s all you had to eat, every meal of every day, it wouldn’t be your favorite before long, and wouldn’t even taste good. It would become trite, banal, boring and downright blah.

Alcohol is the same. That initial drink that puts a teetotaler on his or her butt, with head spinning, has no impact on the seasoned-drinker that can hold his or her liquor. We humans quickly build up a tolerance for things, or put another way, are easily desensitized. When Elvis first hit the scene with gyrating hips, it was shocking. Looking back now, after almost 60 years of desensitization, his movies are deemed mild enough for preschoolers.

What if we deployed this phenomenon to our advantage? The Warrior Culture has been doing it for eons. First, we must take an honest assessment of what causes us fear, trepidation and anxiety. Once recognized, go and do the very thing(s) that you fear. Very quickly your trepidation will become trite, just like that favorite meal eaten over and over again. Panic becomes pedestrian.
During a family trip to the beach, I had my 16 year-old son drive the majority of the time. He was a new and inexperienced driver at the time. He had fear and trepidation about driving on I-95 for several hours, in the midst of beach traffic, thunderstorms and high-speed lane changes. After about an hour, he went from butterflies to banal. And after two more hours, from banal to bored, with the long, dull stretches of straightaways at same steady speed, mile after mile. We can do the same, and should.

I used to be terrified of any kind of “selling”. How ridiculous! I’ve made my living being shot at by bad guys the world over, and yet, terrified of someone telling me “No” in a sales environment. Well, businesses don’t build themselves, and if I wanted mine to succeed, selling was a must. I took on a project that had me making 50 cold calls each week. Guess what? By the second week, desensitization worked its magic. After 6 months, I stopped the project, having gained what I needed, trepidation turned to trite. I don’t fear sales calls, sales call fear me. I don’t fear taking calculated risks, calculated risks fear me.

Identify your trepidation. GO and DO it until it becomes trite. Desensitize Yourself.

Boo Yah!

80% of Performance Isn’t Trained For By Most

My business partner, Steve Siebold, is one of the world’s leading Mental Toughness Coaches. In the past two decades, during the course of his work with Fortune 500 sales teams, he has surveyed the top executives of those companies. The surveys have shown that top executives believe that “performance” breaks down as follows:

10% comes from Skills
10% comes from Knowledge
80% comes from Attitude

Even if you believe this break down isn’t exactly right, the top executives at the top companies believe it. That leads us to ask this question, “How are we training our attitude?” If we spend any time at all on training, it is usually training to increase knowledge or skills. How many of us actually train to have a world-class attitude? If the top business executives in the world are right, that means that most of us are doing little to nothing to train the biggest piece of the Performance puzzle.

 

Boo yah!

“The Spirit is Willing But The Flesh is Weak!”

Last week, I heard someone say this just before they shoved a Little Debbie Cake into their mouth (it’s like a Twinkie or Tastyspirit is willing Peak PerformanceCake for those not from the South).

 

It got me to thinking that almost every single time in my life I’ve heard someone say this, it was always an excuse for cheating on their diet, or not exercising, or drinking too much the night before, etc.  What a CROCK! What this statement actually means is that the body (our flesh) is the easiest (weakest) part of our being to dominate.  (Read the blog post “DeFrag Yourself: The 3 Parts of You“).

 

Our spirit (the REAL YOU, the user/administrator) is willing to take control of the weak flesh and direct it to do the things is doesn’t want to do but are good for it. (You know like NOT SHOVE THE TWINKIE INTO YOUR MOUTH!)  Deep down, we all know what is and is not good for our bodies.  Remember, the next time your body is about to cheat on your nutrition plan, “Your spirit is WILLING and your body is WEAK, so DON’T cave to the weakest part of your being.

 

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for any amount of time you will notice I use a lot of “weight loss/diet/exercise” type of examples to illustrate my Peak Performance through Mental Toughness lessons.  The reason I do that is because the body is the weakest part of ourselves, and if we can’t control and dominate our bodies, we have no shot at dominating our souls (mind, will and emotions).

 

If you are being controlled by your body, you will NEVER achieve long-term success, let alone reach Peak Performance.  Sign up for the Newsletter and begin to cultivate your willing spirit and dominate that weak flesh.

 

Boo Yah!!

DeFrag Yourself: The 3 Parts of You

We defragment our computers in order to optimize them, i.e. get them running at Peak Performance!! Time to optimize ourselves and get up to Peak Performance.

 

Most people I know don’t realize they need to defrag themselves, let alone how to, where to start, or even that every human being is a 3-part being.  We may give lip service to that fact with sayings about “Body, Soul, and Spirit” but beyond that….nothing.

Defrag Yourself Peak Performance Training

 

We all are made up of these three components:

 

  1. Body  (our flesh, blood, bone, and tissue)
  2. Soul   (our mind, will, and emotions)
  3. Spirit  (the REAL YOU)

 

Duh, Andrew! I know it sounds basic, and it is, but let’s think on these things for a moment or two.  We are built a lot like our favorite device (desktop, laptop, tablet, or phone); we live in a body (the hardware or outer shell), have a soul (the OS, software, and apps), and we are spirit (the user/administrator).

 

Most of the people I have coached over the years had no idea that they were in charge of their bodies, not the other way around.  Most of us are dominated by our bodies, we eat whenever and whatever our bodies want, sleep when our bodies want, exercise (or mostly not) when our bodies want, etc.  What if your phone only charged its battery when the case wanted to; or powered up, not when you (the user/administrator), hit the button, but whenever the screen wanted to? RIDICULOUS, you say! Exactly.

 

Most of us, if we do get past our body’s total dominance, are driven by our emotions.  Those who are more advanced actually manage for short durations to run on will power, but will default back to their minds (thoughts, see RED FLAG LIST).  What if you (the user/administrator), went to text your BFF and your phone’s OS thought, “Yeah, I feel like some music instead,” and then just to spite you, it launched the Engelbert Humperdinck Pandora Channel?  (Read – call in sick to work because your soul (OS) thinks, “Yeah, I don’t feel like it,” and watch Jerry Springer instead.)

 

Time to defragment both the hardware and the software and take over the both of them.  You, (the REAL YOU, your spirit) needs to be dominant. If your spirit isn’t running the show (your life), chances are pretty high that the system is going to crash sooner rather than later, and it may already have.  Don’t fret, don’t feel bad about it, just fix it.  If your lawn mower didn’t start because the spark plug was bad, you wouldn’t feel bad about it, you would just fix it.  Let’s just replace some spark plugs.  A good start is to subscribe to the Newsletter! (I’m just saying.)

 Boo Yah!!

Mind/Mouth Connection

 

We’ve been exploring the thought process of Peak Performers by categorizing thoughts into a Positive (Green Flag) List and a Negative (Red Flag) List.  We know that we must replace Red Flag thoughts with thoughts that are Green Flag, but that is easier said than done.  Literally! No, seriously, it is easier to direct your thoughts by “saying” or using your mouth to control and guide your thoughts.

 

Let me illustrate with an experiment.  Begin counting backwards in your head, starting at 999.  Ready, set, go……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

SAY YOUR NAME OUT LOUD!!

Chattering teethWhen you spoke your name, what happened to your backward counting? What number did you stop on?  The point is you had to stop the train of thought of counting backwards when you spoke out loud.

There is a mind/mouth connection wired into all human beings.  If you know about this connection, you can then begin to use it to your advantage.  If you physically force yourself to speak, to say out loud, thoughts based on the Green Flag List, you can control and guide your thoughts in the same way that Peak Performers do.  Concentrate all of your conversations on the Green Flags.  Whenever a RED FLAG thought pops up, make an effort to speak out loud something on the GREEN FLAG List.  Here it is again:

 

BEAUTIFUL – attractive, exquisite, fair, handsome, lovely, pretty

BOUNTIFUL – abundance, ample, plentiful, substantial

BETTER – bigger, faster, stronger

CHEERFUL/GLAD – light-hearted, willing

AT EASE – relaxed, unworried, unembarrassed

WELL FAVORED – to be treated with partiality, even when it’s unfair to others

HAPPY WELFARE – health and prosperity

LOVING – expressing goodwill and affection

KIND/USEFUL- helpful

PLEASING/PLEASURE- delighted, satisfied

SWEET – rich, productive, possesses winning qualities

READY- available for immediate use

PROSPERITY/WEALTH – success, great abundance, riches far greater than riches

PRECIOUS/HIGH VALUE – highly priced, of great worth, excellence

FINEST/BEST – excellent, elegant, refined, pure, (like gold and silver)

 

It takes awareness and energy but Peak Performance through Mental Toughness is work.  Green Flagging pays a huge return on your investment though, so Cowboy Up and Stick With It!! It’s not Positive Thinking, it is speaking out loud the thoughts that eradicate limiting beliefs.  This is the first step, it is foundational, but it must be mastered before going on to Peak Performance.

 

Go forth and speak RED FLAGS NO MORE!!

 

Boo Yah!

15 Winning Thoughts of Peak Performers

Last post we RED FLAGGED 15 categories of negative thoughts.  I had to give you the list of negative thoughts to make it easier to identify them, however, telling someone NOT to think about a thing is to cause them to think about it.  Let me give you a few examples:  DO NOT, under any circumstances, think about an elephant.  (What did you just think about?)  DO NOT think about the color RED, nor the number 13! (Too late, you just did.) See what I mean?  Peak Performers know that it is not enough to just identify negativity, they know that they must replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.   To that end, I am going to share my list of Positive Thought Categories, (they are the same ones used by Peak Performers):

BEAUTIFUL – attractive, exquisite, fair, handsome, lovely, pretty

BOUNTIFUL – abundance, ample, plentiful, substantial

BETTER – bigger, faster, stronger

15 Winning Thoughts of Peak Performance

CHEERFUL/GLAD – light-hearted, willing

AT EASE – relaxed, unworried, unembarrassed

WELL FAVORED – when other folks just like you and treat you well

HAPPY WELFARE – health and prosperity

LOVING – expressing goodwill and affection

KIND/USEFUL- helpful

PLEASING/PLEASURE- delighted, fulfilled

SWEET – rich, productive, possesses winning qualities

READY- available for immediate use

PROSPERITY/WEALTH – success, great abundance, riches far greater than riches

PRECIOUS/HIGH VALUE – highly priced, of great worth, excellence

FINEST/BEST – excellent, elegant, refined, pure, (like gold and silver)

These 15 Winning Thoughts are what you should be thinking about day and night, night and day, over and over, if you want to reach Peak Performance. Print this list out and tape it to the refrigerator and put it next to the RED FLAG LIST.  This is the GREEN FLAG LIST!!  Think about these things, turn them into a movie clip (an imagination), play the clip constantly, turn these 15 Winning Thoughts into Winning Beliefs and crush it!!

Boo Yah!!

Forget Time Management, Do These 3 Steps Instead!

As a consultant/coach, the biggest issue I deal with when helping an organization or individual is a limiting set of beliefs, not the lack of time management.  Not that goals can not be reached, not that success can not be achieved, but not for them, always for others.  Maybe some day, they’ll get lucky and their ship will come in.  The struggle is “just making it” day to day.  This is true of my clients that want to lose weight or get in shape for swimsuit season, or the sales organization with reps struggling to make quotas, or home-based business owners who can’t seem to get any forward traction in building their businesses.

 

Forget Time Management

 

If you find yourself in this situation, the first thing to do is to replace that limiting belief with a belief that you not only can reach your goal, but you will blow it out of the water half way to the next benchmark!

 

“How can I do that, Andrew?”

 

Glad you asked.  It’s actually very simple, but you have to constantly stay on top of the process, which happens in three steps.

 

1)Thoughts – you must identify every thought which pops into your head.  You have to be the “Thought Police” (for yourself, not somebody else…tried it, it doesn’t help them).  Set up a border crossing check-point in your mind, like out of a James Bond movie. Post guards, give them a barricade and some machine pistols….and some cool looking uniforms.  Check every thought’s passport and visa, if it’s a positive thought, give it entry into the country of your mind.  If it’s a negative thought, arrest it, handcuff it, and then deport it.  If it keeps trying to sneak back in, just go ahead and shoot it.

 

2)Imaginations – you must not only let the positive thoughts into your borders, you need to invite them to move in with you.  Play them out in a movie clip in your mind.  Make it 3D, with a great sound track, awesome special effects, produce an award winning movie….and then watch it over and over and over and over again.  Then watch it again and again and again.  I discovered this trick a long time ago, when my wife and I had no washer and dryer, we had to go to the laundromat.  Yuck!! That’s a bad way to spend a Saturday.  So, I produced a movie in my mind that starred a washer and dryer in my house!! I had every detail of that dynamic duo pictured, and the sound track to go with it.  The washer would become unbalanced and shake the entire house, I would run upstairs and fix it.  I put saw myself putting in the Snuggles fabric softener. I cleaned out the lint filter on the dryer.  And most importantly, I didn’t have to spend 3 hours at the Super Suds-n-Spin every week.

 

3)Belief – after watching that movie clip about you reaching your goal, ad nauseam, a weird thing happens, you actually start to believe it.  Then you begin to talk about it.  People got tired of me talking about the new washer and dryer I was getting.  I think my friends were happier than I was once we finally had them in the house, hooked up and washing away!

 

Tomorrow, I’ll help you with an easy trick to identify the negative thoughts from the positive one.  You won’t want to miss it!

Boo Yah!!

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