When we look at winners, in any field – business, career, sports, family, finances, fitness, etc., we tend to see only the good. It’s human nature to fail to see the bad, and the ugly, it took to get there. Humans don’t want to look at that part, mostly because we want to be successful and enjoy fulfillment without going through the bad and ugly.
It easier to attribute more talent, more resources, more opportunities, and more luck to the winners in life, than it is to face the cold hard truth that becoming a winner can be a frighteningly tense and laborious grind. Most of us would rather delude ourselves and credit fortune, luck and fate, than pay the price of bad and ugly to become a winner.
In the summer, we look at fit people at the pool and beach and claim “genetics”. Studies show genetics to be 10% of the equation, the rest is blood, sweat and tears. I work out alone, as much as possible – the reason? I’m U-G-L-Y! Look away….until I’m beach ready. Hah!
People who know me and my family, look at our relationships with each other and call us lucky. We are blessed, no doubt. But having a super-fantastic marriage after 25 years, and teenage kids that want to be around their parents, has taken a lot blood, sweat and tears, behind the scenes.
My wife’s axiom to our kids is, “You, fix you. Stop worrying about everybody else.” My wife and I have applied that to ourselves, as well. We each focus on fixing our own faults, instead of trying to fix our spouse’s faults. Over the years, there have been some bad times, and some ugly times, but we committed to each other that we would have a successful and fulfilled marriage and family, no matter what.
That’s the gist of winning in any area of life, commit to becoming successful and fulfilled – no matter what. To enjoy the GOOD, you will have to push through the bad and ugly.