Do We Compliment Each Other Enough?
After the 9/11 attacks, I was assigned to Senator Joe Lieberman’s security detail. We became fast friends, which is unusual for protector/protectee. There is usually a bond, but always a separation. It’s hard not to be Joe Lieberman’s friend. Even if you don’t agree with him, he is an old school class-act, a true gentleman.
I remember, one morning that was particularly rough, with a heightened vitriol between one of his friends in the Senate, and a member of the Executive Branch (both were members of the same party, hint: not Democrats). Uncle, as I came to call him, was upset to see folks being so mean to each other, especially on a personal level.
He looked at me and said, “Andrew, I believe we don’t compliment each other nearly enough. If we would start with a compliment about the other person, it’s so much more difficult to be spiteful to them.”
From that day onward, I made it a practice to try to include a compliment with every interaction I have, with everybody I meet. (If you have had any personal interaction with me, you probably have received a compliment.) Sometimes, it comes at the end, sometimes in the middle, sometimes at the start, but I always try to give a compliment. Am I perfect with this practice? No! However, I consciously make the effort.
This isn’t to pat myself on the back, it wasn’t even my idea, but I find it works like “MAGIC”. Even when I am having a confrontation with someone, if I can find a way to compliment that person, they will at least know, I’m not personally being spiteful. It ain’t always easy, and more than once, I have failed, and failed miserably. So, I try again next time.
Just for today, try to compliment everybody with whom you come into contact. Be sincere about it and watch that person light up. They can’t help it, in today’s criticism filled culture, you will be an oasis of light.
Boo Yah!!
I agree with you. I try to give compliment every day, it feels good and make people smile. As a society, I believe that we don’t value human beings enough.
Thanks so much for commenting, Richard! Boo yah!
[…] Yesterday, I spoke about us not complimenting each other enough. Today, here’s the flip side, we all criticize each other way too much. I’m beyond guilty on this one. Sometimes I catch myself, and have reverse course full-speed. Usually, what I’m criticizing somebody about is an area in my life that I know doesn’t measure up. So, what I do to make myself feel better, about my own lack of results, is to point out where someone else is “doing worse than me”. Not good! […]
Andrew,
Great article. While I was a special education teacher, I created a routine where every morning we would give compliments to each other. Everyone got one. I felt this had a positive effect on the students on a daily and potentially for a lifetime. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that make a big difference.