“Your identity and your success go hand in hand.”

 Lila Swell

Who are you and who do you want to be? Your identity and image of yourself, your self-belief in who you truly are, these are what dictate your actions, habits, and behaviors.  And your actions, habits, and behaviors dictate your results. Decide what results you want, the life you want to live, and utilize backwards extrapolation to create the self-identity needed to get you there.

Once you dial in where you ultimately want to go,  who you ultimately want to be, begin to draw a picture in your mind of what that looks like, how that person acts, and begin to speak using the language that person uses.  Do not focus on your results, don’t keep track of victory or defeat, focus on creating your identity.

I know this is counter-intuitive.  If, for example, we have a weight loss goal, we intuitively weigh ourselves, constantly checking the scale.  Instead, visualize what you want your body to look like, begin using the language that person would use and hear.  (Like, “Wow! You look tan and fit.”)  Internalize your new identity as someone who is “tan and fit.”  Once you believe your identity is that “tan and fit” person, your actions, habits and behaviors will begin to match up.  Before chowing down on pizza and ice cream, the “tan and fit” you will regulate that behavior.  Eating like that is not who you are.

I use weight loss and body image as an example because that’s the easiest universal illustration.  The identity principle carries over into every area of life.  I have a self-identity as a faithful husband, a devoted father, a fitness and nutrition enthusiast, a self-discipline junkie, a professional warrior and an effective mental toughness coach. I’m the exception, not the rule. That is who I am and my actions, habits and behaviors line up with that.

Who are you and who do you want to be?  What kind of woman or man do you want be? Do you want to be the one whose emotions control you or do you want to be the one who is in control?  Do you want to be a professional in your chosen field or an amateur? Do you wanted to be skilled or just rely on talent? Do you want to be a wise and rational decision maker or be the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, shoot-from-the-hip, knee-jerk reactionary?

Take some time today, think about who you want to be and write out a self-identity statement.  You won’t be sorry.

Boo yah!