When I was training agents and contractors, for the State Department’s high-threat diplomatic security program, one the principles of protecting the diplomat, was that the operator would “have to give up something to get something”. This was usually applied to tactics, vantage points, and superior positioning. Broadly, this principle was applied to every aspect of the mission, and it applies to every aspect of life.
In the tactical world, I can only cover one sector of fire at a time. I have to decide which one to give up, in order to cover another. Our everyday world is the same. I have to give up junk food, in order to see my abs. I have to give up some time, money, and energy, in order to get better results in my relationships, my business/career, and my health.
I don’t waste any of my coaching efforts on those who won’t even give up the bad and ugly for what is just “okay”. That’s a no-brainer. If someone won’t give up being 100 pounds overweight, for the benefits of being only 50 pounds overweight…well, no coaching in the world can probably help that person. As I’ve grown and developed as a coach, I rarely make the mistake of even attempting to coach someone who won’t give up what is okay, in order to grab what is good. If I have to convince someone they should give up that last 50 pounds, in order to be fit, they most likely won’t do it.
They have to come to themselves, they have to make the decision on their own, and then I can coach them. But what I have found nearly impossible, is to coach anyone who has something good. I have never met anyone, anywhere, on any continent, that will risk giving up something good, in order to get something great. Nobody willingly gives up what is good, in order to get something great. Oh, they want the great to show up, while they still have the good in their hand. The thinking is, “I’ll give up the good as soon as I have the great in my hand.”
I have never come across a success story of greatness, where there wasn’t some form of a miserable failure, back against the wall-type situation, that the performer gave up, in order to go for greatness. This is the person that accepts and relishes coaching. They had good, lost it – not gave it up, and they just don’t want to stay in the bad and ugly one second longer. If it sounds like I’m familiar with this mindset, it’s not because of clients, it’s because I’m talking about me. I’m that guy, unfortunately. Why, unfortunately? Because I’ve wasted a couple of decades being okay enough with good, to not give it up, in order to get great. Don’t be me. Give up the good, the bad, or the ugly, and do it right now, and go for the GREAT!